Wayward Warnings and Ridiculous Rules

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For some reason, I started to think about some of the ridiculous rules I’ve seen in place over the years. It started a couple of weeks ago when I went to Scottsdale to attend a Senior Expo. To get there, you drive on sections of highway that are just miles and miles of miles and miles.

On the way, I passed a sign in the middle of the desert that announced that the next exit led the way to a Maximum Security Prison. The sand-colored, somewhat camouflaged building was the only thing visible for, oh, say 25 or 3o miles? Attached to the exit sign was a smaller sign which read: “Do not pick up hitch hikers.” I mean, really…do people have to be told that?

That reminded me of some of the funny signs I passed when driving cross-country. Numerous states had “safe-driving” corridors and those were announced by a sign which read, oddly enough,  ”Safe Driving Corridor – next 25 miles” or something like that. When you reached the end of the stretch there was yet another sign which read “End of Safe Driving Corridor”…I always wondered what you were supposed to do then? Drive dangerously?

Here in California there are many HOV or Carpool lanes. The fine posted if you violate the rules by solo-ing it in the supposedly faster lane is $341. Why $341? Why not $350? or $325? I’ve yet to figure that one out.

I’ve always thought those signs in public parks that list a fine for littering were sort of silly. Most of the time they are not patrolled and it led me to wonder if, with all the advances in DNA technology,  they would ever be able to determine who dumped what and track them down to make them pay the price for leaving junk on public land. Imagine the FBI showing up on your doorstep to deliver a summons for the runaway gum wrapper that made an escape from your sweatshirt pocket. Same goes for a sign I used to see on NYC Subways about being fined for spitting. It’s another, “I mean, really?” question.

Another one of these I have trouble with are the fast-food restaurants that designate some spots on their lots as “Parking for Drive-Thru Only”…huh?

What about those instant start fireplace logs? Did anyone besides me ever notice that the wrapper has a notation on it that reads: “Warning! Risk of Fire?”

One of my absolute favorites is the label on every product that is an aid to falling asleep: “Warning! May cause drowsiness!” We should only hope…

Finally, the other day I was spritzing glass table tops with Windex when for the first time I noticed this:  ”Warning! Do not spray into eyes!” That’s another really? I mean, realllllly?

I’m sure you have come across a few of these in your time. Please share!

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