I like getting updates from the Huffington Post. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/)
To be perfectly honest, I’m not even sure what the Huffington Post is, but I do like their articles and I especially like the “Weird News” that comes to me a couple of times a week.
One of last week’s “Weird News” emails had a series of absolutely hilarious mug shots from around the country. I guess that’s “public domain” or otherwise they couldn’t do this, so I thought this week I’d share some of them and what caused these criminals to have to have their photos taken down at the station house.
There were a couple that had me wiping tears from my eyes they were just so funny.
I have to say that one of the things I like least about myself is that I just relish the stupidity of some criminals.
I like to believe that it keeps me honest. Heaven forbid I should wind up as a feature in one of these “Weird News” updates. I can only imagine what my mug shot would look like; even professional photographers struggle to make me look human.
I also must say that of the 30 or so stories that were offered, it was really difficult to pick the best.
They were all just so (allegedly) mind-bogglingly dumb!!!
Didn’t she teach the kid how to use a rifle? After all if he was there for “protection” he should have been properly trained.
This woman in Palm Beach tried to rob a convenience store with a toy gun, but one of the clerks behind the counter yelled “Police! Get down on the ground now!”
So she did.
Needless to say, she got hauled away fairly quickly.
This couple tied the knot but didn’t really plan the reception. So, instead of just doing a “pot luck” sort of thing, they swung by the local Wegman’s on their way from the wedding to the party and shoplifted $1,000. worth of munchies to serve to their friends.
They are honeymooning in the local hoosegow.
This brain-surgeon-turned-thief (an exaggeration, of course!) dressed up in this incredibly scary looking outfit and broke into the local museum of rocks and gems.
The alarms went off and so he fled the scene as quickly as he could dressed like this. He was captured when a police dog bit a patch of grass and it yelled “OW!”
My question is: wouldn’t you dress like this if you were robbing a sod farm?
Wouldn’t it be a better idea to look like a fake boulder if you you are going after rocks?
And, why would anyone want to rob rocks?
He acted as the temporary librarian there but it was said that he was entirely too lenient on fines.
Now, this is a man who is a true devotee of “Taco Tuesday.”
He got taken away in cuffs when he dialed 911 because the local Taco Bell wouldn’t serve him his #7 with hot sauce. To him, it was an emergency.
Now he has three square meals a day instead of three round ones.
This is one of my favorite mug shots ever.
His Mom must be so proud.
What landed him in hot water? Well, someone actually thought he looked unusual and snapped a picture of this unique coiffure.
His reaction was to hit the person in the head with his skateboard. I guess he didn’t see the humor in it.
Last but not least…I think this is my absolute favorite.
As described in the Huffington Post (and I couldn’t say it any better!) “…some people have guilt written all over their face.”
This con’s brilliant idea to help him get away with stuff was to have this tattooed on his head:
“Please forgive me if I say or do anything stupid. Thank you.”
It’s my favorite mostly because, again, I am annoyed that I didn’t think of that first.
I could have hid it by having bangs cut. I could just lift my hair whenever I said something really dumb and it would certainly explain any number of the “Duh” moments I have!
And heaven only knows, I have enough of them. It’s a good thing saying “Duh” isn’t against the law. I’d probably be sent away for life.