In my local paper this week I read the following excerpt from the news in “Our Towns:”
“A 37 year old man was arrested about 1:15 a.m. Saturday morning after crashing his car into a police car parked at a DUI checkpoint. He swerved around a sign that said ‘Prepare to Stop. DUI and Driver’s License Checkpoint Ahead.’ The Police Department reported there were no injuries associated with the crash.”
I don’t even know where to start with this one. Talk about really being screwed. It’s bad enough he was drunk, but then in order to avoid hitting the sign warning him of the DUI checkpoint, he smashes right into the cops.
Good news is there were no injuries involved. Well, at least not physical injuries. I imagine that this guy will suffer from comments and jibes about this incident for the rest of his life.
Seeing that in the paper reminded me of several other funny-but-not-funny things I’ve seen from time-to-time, so I thought I would share a few with you.
In a similar incident, a Taliban commander turned himself in to a local Afghan police station and then wanted to claim the reward that was offered by the military in an effort to find him and bring him to justice. When our own troops arrived to take custody of him they brought the wanted poster to the prisoner and asked him the obvious: “Is this you?” To which he responded, “Yes. Can I have my reward now?” I guess this was one guy who wanted to cash-and-carry and not wait around for the 27 virgins in the next world.
Then there’s this story:
Last fall, in a city just a little south of me, Carlsbad (home of Legoland) there appeared a larger-than-life fork at a … wait for it… “fork in the road.” It seems a local artist thought it was a fun thing to do. Unfortunately, the town fathers did not agree and removed it citing it was a “code violation”…so commiserating residents brought some of their own forks and taped them to a nearby sign. Someone actually put up a sign that read “What the fork is wrong with it?”
This next one made me laugh out loud.
A typhoon wrecked a zoo in Tokyo, resulting in, among other things, the escape of 30 squirrels from their pen. Not to worry, the diligent zookeepers found all of them…and then some. Actually, they found 38. Not 30. They had three possible explanations for this. First, they had miscounted and they actually had 38 squirrels and didn’t realize it, or second, they captured some free squirrels who unfortunately happened to befriend the escapees and were in the mix or third, the squirrels had pro-created rapidly and there were now babies added to the “herd.” (Can you have a “herd” of squirrels? or is it a “pack?” or a “squaggle of squirrels” similar to a “gaggle of geese?”)
On that note I will close this week’s blog and go off to run errands and hopefully not do something that will make me newsworthy in the process.